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The Bard`s Tale
Matthew Hardy

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"If you like wine, woman, and song. This is the game for you"

Voiced by Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride and Robin Hood Men In Tights) The Bard is self-centered, greedy, and a tad bit horny. His three favorite things are women, wine, and song (In that order). Everything he does, every conversation revolves around his needs, and what he'll get out of it.

The Bard's tale is started when he is asked to rescue a princess that an evil wizard has locked up in a tower. Pretty cliché huh? So what would it take for the Bard to venture on this quest...well a little promise from the princess, "I can read your mind," says the Princess via astral projection, "So imagine me doing what you are thinking three times a day for the rest of your life." How could he say no to that?

Although he won't be alone in his quest, you are accompanied by an unseen narrator...who doesn't approve of most of the Bard's action. They often argue, and disagree about many things. After slaying some beasts, the Bard receives some power-ups, but the narrator finds this compeletly absurd, they start arguing about how weird it is to find weapons, whole uneaten food, and clothes inside an emeny. Aside from the narrator, there is a dog that will follow you around if you let him..he helps point out things you might have missed, and can help fight.